That one time I had seen a ghost

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ghost – I think I’m probably haunted by my own ghosts than real ones. – Florence Welch

I’ve been meaning to blog for quite some time now. 3250 days to be exact.

I was trying to open a new WP account earlier but I was stopped by the remark that the username that I chose has already been taken. Curious to know who else in the world can come up with such a great username, I searched for it.

But who do I find?

It was some almost sixteen year old from the Philippines blabbering about the summer break she’s having back then in 2007 and comparing it to the one she’s had the year prior to that when she was spending it in Germany. It was her birthday the next day and she was glad that people could come because it was the same day as her cousin’s wedding so everyone she wanted to come was already there anyway. She also talked about how excited she was about a new pair of flip-flops she will be receiving as a birthday present from her aunt. She, I realised, was me. It was no other than myself, nine long years ago.

It probably felt like seeing a ghost. Probably, because I wouldn’t know what seeing a ghost actually feels like.

Surely, I wanted to take the post down right away. I don’t know about you but I do not want anyone who knows me now to see a version of me from when I was fifteen. It’s bad enough it has been out there for the whole world to see for nine freaking years.

So I tried to log in with the oldest e-mail address I still remember having. Error. I’ve tried another one. Error. At this point, I wasn’t sure anymore which one I had actually used back then. I don’t remember any other e-mail addresses I have had although I’m pretty sure there were several. Eventually, I tried my username and the one password I have been using for quite some time now. And it worked.

I took down the post and changed my layout that had teenager plastered all over it to a new and simpler one. A lot has changed since then and I wanted something that looked more mature. There is one thing that hasn’t changed, though. Because that girl, she was trying to start a blog. That girl, nine years later, still sits here, writing her (first) blog entry.

If I only I had continued writing since I first started, this blog would be turning nine this year.

Can I keep this up?


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